domingo, 30 de agosto de 2009

O time do Alpiste

futebol-8415



Tinha um time no Bairro Brasília que fazia a cabeça de todo mundo, era uma verdadeira droga. O nome era time do Cizo e faziam parte dele craques de renome mundial como:Rebelo, Pizzetti, Serginho mil posições e principalmente Popeye, O Zidane brasileiro,o único centroavante na história do futebol mundial que nunca fez sequer um gol.O técnico do time era o Cizo,que tinha uma bodega estilo cabeça de porco no Bairro Argentina.Sabe aqueles botequins que tem uma imagem de Santa pintada nas paredes do fundo?E no lugar de um dos olhos da santa tinha uma barata daquelas bem cascudas, amassada pelo proprietário a mais de uma década. O prêmio pelas vitórias era uma perna de salame pra cada jogador.
Dizia o Cizo que o verdadeiro nome do time era time do alpiste, pois os jogadores só jogavam Under Influence e todo jogo tinha um caso de overdose.
O transporte para os jogadores do time do alpiste sim é que era coisa de primeiro mundo, todos tinham que se espremer em três fuscas velhos, e claro que o lamamóvel não iria se furtar a essa nobre missão de levar o time para mais uma derrota humilhante. Desta vez o jogo seria em um buraco qualquer de Urussanga e o Rebelo já havia preparado o fusca,o turbinado já estava em frente ao bar esperando para levar o plantel com todo o desconforto e insegurança que só o lamamóvel poderia proporcionar.Mas tinha um detalhe:ele sempre saia escondido para ninguém ver,senão teria que nos levar também,afinal nós não poderíamos perder a chance de ver o time do alpiste jogar,aquilo era melhor que ver o chaves chapado,a tarde.Muito engraçado ver aqueles pernas de pau perderem jogo após jogo.
Quando ele nos viu chegando foi correndo trancar o possante mas o carro era nosso amigo e nos deixou arromba-lo enquanto o seu dono estava recebendo o bixo pelo brilhante empate frente ao time do Lar para Mongolóides pernetas de São Ludgero.Quando ele saiu do muquifo já estavam dentro do carro eu, o Lokinho, o Jorginho e o Michara e não teve jeito,teve que nos levar,foi emburrado até Urussanga.
O jogo correu bem e o resultado foi o esperado:Time do Cizo 0x10 contra o time das freiras Débeis mentais de Sanga da Toca.Antes do jogo acabar já estávamos dentro do carro novamente,senão era capaz do Rebelo nos deixar na pernada ali naquele buraco esquecido por Deus.
O Rebelo,pondo para funcionar o cérebro de ervilha dele,resolveu vir pela SC e passar em frente a policia rodoviária. Agora imaginem só, o policial lá na dele,paradão,louco de ódio por estar trabalhando em um domingão de sol,quando de repente ele avista um fusca velho,caindo aos pedaços,com cinco caras visivelmente bêbados dentro!Claro que ele não iria deixar passar essa,resolveu tirar todo o recalque e raiva por aquela vidinha de merda dele em cima da gente.Quando ele descobriu que o Rebelo nem carteira tinha,o negócio que já era ruim,piorou bastante.
Mas por incrível que pareça,por um daqueles milagres que nos fazem acreditar na existência de um ser superior(Amém Natalie Portman),o chave de cadeia nos deixou passar sem nem olhar dentro do carro,nós nem descemos. Ainda bem porque o lamamóvel só funcionava na ligação direta, era uma faca de passar manteiga, aliás, manteiga não, margarina, que pobre nem sabe o que é manteiga, que fazia as vezes de chave e ignição e o Michara ainda estava premiado.Mais uma vez a sorte nos salvou.

28 comentários:

  1. ae irmao to ae nessa luta de bloguerio.........ae vou te conversar que foi vendo seu blog que me deu inspiraçao para fazer o meu..........
    agora amigos de blog....
    muito bom seu blog

    ResponderExcluir
  2. Caraca, vcs eram cagados mesmo...
    XD
    Só pra loco!
    Agora, um time que obtem um resultado de 0x10, é muito phodástico...
    XD

    ResponderExcluir
  3. Os carros eram bichados pq nesse tempo eu ainda n era dona e proprietária de um comercio de peças para veículos usados. (os veiculos são usados, as peças são usadas...). se fosse hoje, era só falar comigo que os Fuca iam ficar da hora!
    Quanto ao time, sabia ser ruim, MAS ACho que tu era mais feliz nesses dias.
    pelo menosnão imagino tu não diria "só um pouquinho feliez".

    Resolveu votar em mim?

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  4. Faltou oração Chicuta. Pra jogar contra freira tem que ajoelhar... e rezar.

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  5. Ae chicuta e rebelo axo que todo lugar tem um times desses.Mas não com essa performa toda de um 0x 10.
    Ae quero saber como vc faz para redirecionar a pagina( Under Influence).
    ae depois me manda seu msn....
    ae vlw pela dica.

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  6. Ae chicuta e rebelo axo que todo lugar tem um times desses.Mas não com essa performa toda de um 0x 10.
    Ae quero saber como vc faz para redirecionar a pagina( Under Influence).
    ae depois me manda seu msn....
    ae vlw pela dica.

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  7. rsrsrsr
    gosto do seu jeito de escrever!

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    Although common men's designs can never be replaced, it's interesting to remember that changes in men's fashion trends have brought certain common garments back to fashion. The reputation of vintage clothing, especially, has had back a wide-variety of common designs into men's closets, such as that of the dandy man. 'Dandy'is a term used to make reference to men who dress yourself in a classic yet elegant way, acting in a refined manner and placing importance on appearance. This pattern for nearly'over-the-top'common fashion for men is evident from events like the'Tweed Run', wherever men and girls of all ages clothe themselves in especially Victorian-style attire and decide to try the streets on vintage bikes - with lots of the men wearing remarkable mustaches! This is just one single of many examples of data showing the resurrection of such styles. Additionally, there are numerous blogs on line which concentrate on gentlemanly style - such as'The Dandy Project'and'Dandyism'- as well as whole websites such as'The Art of Manliness'dedicated to giving articles on common men's fashion and grooming.

    In summary, whilst certain areas of traditional men's style could be cut back as new movements, the fundamental outfits which they derive from will never slip out of fashion.

    "All it will take really are a few simple garments. And there's one key - the simpler the better." - Cary Grant

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